A Life Anew: Day 201

What seemed like an impossible goal: to quit drinking alcohol, has been achieved. I no longer luxuriate in the happy hour fantasy of pouring a glass (and eventually many more) of wine. For me, it’s not such a big deal anymore, I’m pretty sure…

…until this week when the weather warmed to the mid-seventies, the Acacia trees bloomed and released the first glorious smells of Springtime, and the local restaurants set up their outside seating beckoning with pretty wine glasses drawn on chalkboards set along the sidewalks. All sensuous and gentle reminders of delightful days sipping a crisp white wine.

I went there last week. I daydreamed about drinking. I let myself daydream to test myself. I really wanted to see what and how I felt. Dangerous, probably. But I did it anyway. And the answer I came up with was refreshing. I had too much to lose because of my recovery. If I had just quit and simply been counting my days, I would have succumbed. But this time, my journey started with intention and I’ve never let up. And here is the best news of all. I don’t want to let up because recovery to me means expanding my life, making new friends, strengthening old, reading books, seeing plays, driving to great restaurants, cooking at home, watching a series and remembering, saying yes to invitations to speakers, girlfriends, yoga teacher training, retreats, and travel. It means texting my artwork and gratitude lists to others who like to share back with me. It means I’m up for helping a friend in need — always. The list is literally growing day-by-day. I don’t want to go back to drinking. My life would shrink up in days. No way.

It’s all about practicing a new way of living and being in this world. I’m grateful to have been given this chance. I could have just as easily gone about my days continuing to close them out with wine. I would have had an ok life until my health failed — which it would have before it’s natural time. But I escaped. And many more women can too because the resources are abundant. I have benefited so much from them and will be adding links to my blog website soon.

This blog is for me. I want to remember this story and journey in 5, 10, 25 years. And if anyone is reading it and feels kindred than that’s my way of lighting more torches from the torch I lit from women before me. We’re in service to each other.

Love, Diana

 

 

4 COMMENTS

  1. Irene Parry | 5th Feb 18

    Congratulations Diana you are truly free! I was for 21 years and unfortunately have been battling the monster again for the past 3 and half years. It is so much harder this time but I keep trying for some reason my brain thinks I can moderate. Most days I can but not consistently. So I wake up with regret and my confidence is gone. I just want to have freedom as I use to. I have joined another class but I keep Succumbing to the urges and cravings. It is so frustrating! Anyway I am so happy you have escaped! You don’t ever want to go back!! So not worth the misery and constant battle.

    My Best!

    Irene

    • Diana at Living an Alcohol Free Life | 5th Feb 18

      Dear Irene,

      I’m in awe of your story. First to have 21 years is amazing. What a gift to keep you motivated. It’s heartbreaking to hear how hard it is to get it back. I’ve heard this same thing from many others and I will learn from your research. I appreciate you sharing this with me and offer you support and love to find your way back to freedom. It is so worth it. Don’t ever stop trying. If you want to connect for support, send me your email. I will reach out.

      My best to you,
      Diana

  2. Untipsyteacher | 5th Feb 18

    I am so glad to read this! It’s so true about expanding yourself, new experiences, opening to the world!
    Congratulations on your 201 Days!
    xoxo
    Wendy

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